Firstly, you are not alone. Acknowledging that is probably the most important step. I too know what it feels like to wake up one day with the sudden realisation that, oh shit, I haven’t done anything yet! How could I not have done anything yet? I’m a failure I’m a failure I’m a failure…
Er… I mean…
Even though it’s easy to fall into a spiral of self doubt, what you need to remember is to NEVER compare yourself to anyone else. Sure, it may feel better in the short run to secretly fantasize about all the awful things that could happen to your stupid high school classmates and their stupid happy lives with their stupid beautiful families that have eyes just like theirs and…
Don’t do that. Try to avoid face stalking old friends to see “how they turned out”. To all of you lovely 20 somethings, social media is indeed a tasty treat of our generation which serves many wonderful purposes. Using it to spy, however, should not be one of them. It’s equivalent to say… checking on your ex in the hope that they’re miserable, which they almost never are. It’s just something you shouldn’t do.
Something else we shouldn’t do is COMPARE OURSELVES TO OUR PARENTS. So what if at our age our parents were married, with kids and jobs and a house and a plan with a future and…
Wait, take a breath. No need to panic.
Ok, lets look at this logically.
Every generation is different. If we based our lives on the generation before us, proposals would still be a bonk in a head then dragged into a cave. And everyone would be smelly… and stuff.
Looking around and seeing your friends, married, pregnant, talking about their high paying jobs… ok, outwardly you may be smiling and congratulating them and wishing them well and all that jazz, inwardly? Probably resenting and, if you’re like me, plotting the demise of your alarm clock. I do that whenever I have a spare moment.
Well, it’s human nature to want what others have, and I know it seems like you’re the only one that DOESN’T have, with no real promises of anything any time soon, BUT, even though it feels like we’ve a burden to prove ourselves by 30…
All those pressures and anxieties and feelings of inadequacies? They’re coming from you. Anything anyone else says is irrelevant. Ignore it. They suck.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Don’t worry if on your primary school assignment you wrote you’d be married to a prince or princess by now with three kids and a pony.
Just take your time.
Spend these short years learning to like yourself. Find things you enjoy doing, learn as much as you possibly can, and go on the spontaneous trip around the country if you really want. Why not, right? Your happiness is your first priority. Jobs are important but you do have time, so find something you like. Work out exactly what that is.
Even if you’re not in your 20s, maybe you’re pushing 30s, 40s, 80s, whatever. The life you lead should be by your design only, no one elses. So live it how you like, and do what makes YOU happy.