To The Man I’ll Eventually Fall In Love With

1464878605470858889194.jpgI hope that you’re fun. If it’s 2am and we’ve just spent 13 hours marathoning a television show, playing a game, or laying in bed, then I hope us doing a maccas run only serves as a means to provide us with enough energy to continue whatever it was we were or were not doing. It’s only 2am, afterall. Plenty more hours till the sun comes up.

I hope that you’re spontaneous. We can’t be bothered cooking so we’ll go out to eat. On the way back to the car we notice there’s a movie or two we wouldn’t mind seeing. Who cares if it’s late and we have work the next day? And I realize we’ve just eaten but, who goes to a movie without snacks? Not us, surely.

I hope that you’re passionate. I’ll look at you from across the room, and neither of us will need to say a word. I’ll run my fingers through your hair as you kiss my neck, and we’ll forget anyone else exists.

I hope that you’re casual.  We won’t bother putting proper clothes on unless we have to leave the house, and even then it has to be ABSOLUTELY necessary. Trackies are all we need, and it’s cuddle weather anyway.

I hope that you’re weird. It’ll go well with mine. And we’ll get a kick out of all the normals that try to understand us. They can’t, and shouldn’t bother trying :p

I hope that you’re kind. We can be the support network that so many people need. You’ll understand when I’m having a bad day, and I’ll be there for you during yours. And we’ll trust each other, know each other, and appreciate each other for it.

I hope that you’re tidy. Because I really am not, and I need someone to keep me motivated to do things or I’ll just let it pile up. Try not to be grumpy ok? I’m messy but I’ll work out it. We’ll find a middle ground :).

I hope that you’re adventurous. Because I want to do things! I want to collect every experience I possibly can, and I want to share them with you. Lets go somewhere we’ve never been before, meet people we’ve never met, and eat everything we possibly can. We’ll still have a home, a job and our pets, but we can be free spirits to, ok? Best of both worlds, however we manage it.

I hope that you’re brave. This is really important. I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect, all of the time. Things might get hard, I might get hard to deal with, but that’s just the cost of life, and that’s the price of sharing it with another person. What I can promise you, is there will be enough goodness, enough happiness, and enough love, that everything else will be worth it.

And lastly…

I hope that you’re mine. And I’m yours. And that’s the most important thing. We can work out all the other stuff later. I’m fine with that if you are.

I hope to find you eventually, but I’m not looking. Because I need to learn to live without you first. And I need to be the kind of person someone would fight for, because I intend to fight for you.

I look forward to meeting you, my love. Whenever that may be.

 

 

 

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How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis

Firstly, you are not alone. Acknowledging that is probably the most important step. I too know what it feels like to wake up one day with the sudden realisation that, oh shit, I haven’t done anything yet! How could I not have done anything yet? I’m a failure I’m a failure I’m a failure…

Er… I mean…

Even though it’s easy to fall into a spiral of self doubt, what you need to remember is to NEVER compare yourself to anyone else. Sure,  it may feel better in the short run to secretly fantasize about all the awful things that could happen to your stupid high school classmates and their stupid happy lives with their stupid beautiful families that have eyes just like theirs and…

Hold up.

Don’t do that. Try to avoid face stalking old friends to see “how they turned out”. To all of you lovely 20 somethings, social media is indeed a tasty treat of our generation which serves many wonderful purposes. Using it to spy, however, should not be one of them. It’s equivalent to say… checking on your ex in the hope that they’re miserable, which they almost never are. It’s just something you shouldn’t do.

Something else we shouldn’t do is COMPARE OURSELVES TO OUR PARENTS. So what if at our age our parents were married, with kids and jobs and a house and a plan with a future and…

Wait, take a breath. No need to panic.

Ok, lets look at this logically.

Every generation is different. If we based our lives on the generation before us, proposals would still be a bonk in a head then dragged into a cave. And everyone would be smelly… and stuff.

Moving on!

Looking around and seeing your friends, married, pregnant, talking about their high paying jobs… ok, outwardly you may be smiling and congratulating them and wishing them well and all that jazz, inwardly? Probably resenting  and, if you’re like me, plotting the demise of your alarm clock.  I do that whenever I have a spare moment.

Why?

Well, it’s human nature to want what others have, and I know it seems like you’re the only one that DOESN’T have, with no real promises of anything any time soon, BUT, even though it feels like we’ve a burden to prove ourselves by 30…

We don’t.

All those pressures and anxieties and feelings of inadequacies? They’re coming from you. Anything anyone else says is irrelevant. Ignore it. They suck.

Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Don’t worry if on your primary school assignment you wrote you’d be married to a prince or princess by now with three kids and a pony.

Just take your time.

Spend these short years learning to like yourself. Find things you enjoy doing, learn as much as you possibly can, and go on the spontaneous trip around the country if you really want. Why not, right? Your happiness is your first priority. Jobs are important but you do have time, so find something you like. Work out exactly what that is.

Even if you’re not in your 20s, maybe you’re pushing 30s, 40s, 80s, whatever. The life you lead should be by your design only, no one elses. So live it how you like, and do what makes YOU happy.

I wrote this as much for me as I did for you.  Remember my first point?Image